Monday, December 04, 2006

Monday Virtual Dinner Partner

I feel raw today, something I haven't felt for a while. Yesterday I was on an emotional roller coaster. I was with people I love honoring the life of a beloved friend who died. I felt both full and spent at the end of the day.

I am preparing to travel this week to see someone I love. I haven't been away in over a year so getting ready seems challenging. I can't find things, I'm not sure what to take, lots needs to be done on a time line.

I am worried about something and not sure what to do next to take care of it. I am not sure who to ask for help either.

This list is simply the stuff of life. When I read the list I feel blessed because I see first that I am surrounded by people I love. Still, what I feel right now is the rev of anxiety. I am tired and want to take a nap. I feel torn; there are errands to run, phone calls to make, suitcases to pack. I want to feel full of energy, centered, and relaxed but I am left with rawness and doubt. Will I get everything done? Will I get good information?

I want to face life knowing there is loss, there are challenges and questions. I want to do this with a minimum of doubt. Do I dream the impossible? Maybe. But I need to keep that desire alive as a beacon for better coping skills and less stress as I go through everyday life.

Sleep: 7 hours & up at 6:45

1/2c nf cottage cheese, grapes and 2 tbsp walnuts
oatmeal (1/3c before cooked)
2 c black tea
chocolate heaven
veggie soup and 50% cheese
TLC crackers (1 serving)
half a Tri-lo-plex bar
whole wheat banana bread
whole wheat pasta with cheese sauce and tomatoes
half a pomegranate

Totals: 3 fruits and 4 veggies

Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother.
~Kahlil Gibran

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow.
~Albert Einstein


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