Friday, December 08, 2006

Awakening

Yesterday, I was browsing in a bookstore and I ran across a funny little book. It was small and thick and contained photographs of everything the author ate in 2005. I found a chair and sat down to take a good look. I was captivated and amused. Imagine that: a year in the life of someone's tastebuds, teeth, stomach, and beyond....all in living color.

The book struck a chord. As I talk with my friends about Virtual Dinner Partner, I speak with a touch of irony. "My nutty project"...yes, nuts show up on a daily basis and frankly, this project feels a little screwy. It is also compelling.

After a couple of nights with eight o'clock rolling around, and no posting yet, I called my endeavor "the damn blog." My original virtual dinner partner asked if that's what my postings had become. I started to wonder if writing daily was becoming a chore....maybe, on some days.

So why am I writing it? Frankly, I really don't know. Momentum has stepped into the process...habit too. It's become something I do.

Some days I imagine people out there judging what I am doing....girl diet head paranoia rears her ugly head. Someone asked me if I am trying to be a good role model for healthy living and weight loss. I can't even get my hands around that. Some days I feel I am a great anti-example.

Virtual Dinner Partner is just a ground level reflection of one of the ways I inhabit my life...in words..not living color.

An outgrowth of this practice is that my awareness seems heightened. From this ground of awareness, I feel I am awakening.

Virtual Dinner Partner feels like much more than a food diary. But then there is that old maxim, "you are what you eat."

Maybe as I become more aware about how I am living on a very basic level, I am becoming more conscious about who I am.

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