Change is afoot!

Ah, today Virtual Dinner Partner has a new look and an upgrade at the blog site. This is the first step of some experimentation. I love the plastic quality of a blog: it morphs, it starts as one thing and becomes another.

I have had a long run with the menu format of Virtual Dinner Partner and I am going to minimize those postings to a few days a week (they are not going away...after all, the blog is still called "virtual dinner partner.") I am adding new favorite recipes. I am always looking for new meals to try because I tend to run out of ideas.

I am upgrading the movement and meditation commentary. I am not entirely clear about the form so I will experiment and see how it morphs. Don't worry, it will not be about sets and reps. Instead, I will focus on direction and improvement. I want Virtual Dinner Partner to become dinner talk about dreams of climbing big mountains, and plans to make it happen, stories about stepping out, trying new things, and living a joyfully active life. I will include progress reports, problem solving, and setback resolution. Inspiration will be my focus ...mainly the people and stories that keep me going.

Virtual Dinner Partner will continue with a personal focus. One of the things I have really wanted as I have made major health changes is the true stories of others who have walked similar journeys. There are success stories, but the truth is I regularly fall on my face. I want to hear those stories too so I am stepping out and telling mine. Sustainable change requires experimentation. Frankly, some experiments don't work. Sometimes you have to cut your losses, walk away and figure out something else. Failure and resiliance are as much a part of my story as success is. Also, some days are better than others.

I would love feedback. I want to hear other people's stories. I would love to see other blogs like this.

How MUCH did you say you weigh?

I posted my weight today. I thought quite a bit about posting it...mostly questioning, am I nuts to do this? When I started Virtual Dinner Partner as a dyad practice with my original partner I included that information. When I weighed myself, she knew how much I weighed. Doing this involved major trust for me.

My nightmare question until recently has been "how much do you weigh?". The question was rarely asked, people knew better.

The last time I remember being asked was during a phone conversation a number of years ago when I was trying to schedule a flight on a small airplane to an island off the coast of Florida and total passenger and cargo weight mattered. I told them I wasn't even really sure how much I weighed.

I was asked, "over 200 pounds?".
"Yeah," I replied.
"By much?"
"Yeah."
I didn't add that I weighed around 280. I was referred to a boat company because I weighed too much for the plane ride. I burned with shame as I hung up the phone. I didn't go to the island.

I work hard to see my weight as peripheral information in my life. One of many bits that make up a complicated picture of how I am doing. Earlier in my life it seemed tied to my value as a human being. Weighing "too much" equaled not having much value as a person....particularly as a woman.

I have slowly dropped a substantial amount of weight during the last four years as part of a total life and health reclamation project. I am still considered "overweight" using the body mass index, but I am feeling pretty good. I try to see the numbers: weight, body mass index, pants size, hip measure, simply as numbers. Information that makes up part of a picture of how I am doing.

I am definitely doing better, but it is not strictly tied to the numbers that are associated to my particular measurements. I am feeling better. I have more energy and I feel happier. This change in my sense of "well being" results from some complex changes in everyday choices and ways that I experience my life. I don't fully understand how everything comes together to make a difference. I just try to pay attention to what is happening and how I am feeling. It's so much more than the numbers AND the numbers are simply numbers. So I pay some attention to them and I will include them in my postings from time to time.